Dear Theresa, May 7, 2008

Lately I have discovered that a majority of my anger issues are due to the memories and effects of being beaten and neglected as an infant. Most of my life you have neglected me, and soon after I first realized this a few years ago I starting drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. I beat myself up thinking it was my fault, as if I just wasn’t good enough to be loved like a son should be. Because of the poor relationship I have with you I developed relationship problems with girls (which some psychologists say is normal for people like me to do if they do have a bad relationship with their mothers), and after this started my life started going on a downward spiral. By now you are probably crying but try to keep reading without killing yourself.

When you went from guy to guy I became more and more confused, angry, and depressed. Now you made a “new” family with Antonio, and frankly I’m pissed off. My anger levels have increased at an extremely dangerous rate. People are intimidated by me when I’m angry, and my principle is investigating this to see if the students feel safe with me there at school, also meeting with the school district administrators to decide if I should be placed of a long-term suspension for the intimidation, listing it under bullying/ harassment. The school is putting me on the radar as a “repeated offender of Intimidation” but I cannot really help it. I have had to put up a front for many years to hide the vulnerable and weak side of me, and now I can’t help it. Just a couple of days ago Branden attacked me and I went after him, grandpa caught me off guard when I tried to go after Branden. He put me into a head lock and through me on the ground, when I got up I gave him the look of a sociopath and he said later that night that for the first time in his life he was afraid for his safety… How do you think this made me feel?